TantraPM Blog

We had a delightful time teaching in a beautiful outdoor setting for Midnite Oasis (New Jersey) yesterday. The weather was perfect for the all day intensive, in which we covered:

What is Tantra?

The History of Tantra.

Pleasure as Spiritual Practice

The Chakras and Sexuality

The Tantric Erogenous Zones

The day was one of lively discussion, mostly focused on the spiritual aspects of Tantric practice and how to integrate spirituality into everyday life. At the end of the day, someone asked us if there was one thing he could take away from the workshop for this purpose. We replied with a single word - Pleasure. By bringing awareness to what truly gives us pleasure, we can become more authentic human beings, and have easier access to mystical experiences. Pleasure is not something to reject, nor is seeking it incompatible with spirituality. Rather, pleasure  is very useful tool when used skillfully. Focusing on what gives you pleasure – even and perhaps especially something subtle, a sound, a sensation, something you see – can take you into a blissful state, a feeling of union (Yoga).

This perspective is supported by at least one important tantric text, the Vijnanabhairava Tantra: “When the Yogi mentally becomes one with the incomparable joy of song and other such objects, then of such a Yogi, there is, because of the expansion of his mind, identity with that (i.e. with the incomparable joy) because he becomes on with it.

We’ll be back at Midnite Oasis for an advanced workshop sometime this fall.

Runner’s High - Sexual High

A recent New York Times article titled “Yes, Running Can Make You High,” reveals that scientists have finally proved what many have known all along, that there is euphoria to be found in intense workouts. According to the article, researchers measured endorphin levels in subjects’ brains, before and after a two hour run, using PET scans and recently available chemicals. Dr. Henning Boecker, of the University of Bonn, states that similar levels are present “when people are involved in romantic love affairs.”

We couldn’t help but wonder what these scientists would discover in the brains of Tantric sex practitioners. We suspect that even those in long-term relationships attain endorphin levels similar to those “involved in a romantic love affair”. (Such has certainly been our subjective experience!) Tantric sexual practice involves prolonging arousal, and we suspect that increasing this results not only in the release of amphetimine-like compounds, which happens during an average sexual response cycle (see Masters and Johnson), but also in heightened endorphin levels and that flooding the system with this combination of brain chemicals is what leads to mystical experience (see pp. 35-37 of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality).

Read it here.

Tantra for Erotic Empowerment is available now! And a lot earlier than we anticipated. To celebrate, we’re offering free shipping in the U.S. between now and April 1, the official U.S. publication date.

Visit our books page for details.

You can also order it from your local bookstore (a great option) or buy it on amazon.com.

We’ve finished the final round of edits, and Tantra for Erotic Empowerment is now at the printer. Everything’s on track for an April release.

Our DVDs Tantric Sexual Massage for Lovers and Advanced Tantric Sex Techniques (Alexander Institute) are available at last through our website. The process of making the films was very interesting, and we learned a lot. It’s extremely difficult to make effective, explicit instructional films, and we really didn’t know what to expect. We’re delighted with the final versions. They convey the information effectively and tastefully, and the performers do a great job. We are excited about the possibility of reaching an entirely new audience.

We’re looking forward to Dark Odyssey in March and also to the Virginia Festival of the Book. We’ve been selected as participating authors and will be doing a signing and a workshop March 28-29.

Here’s our teaching schedule for October-November.

October 12, 7-9 p.m.
SEXY SPIRITS (NEW YORK CITY) - Autoerotic Mysticism, go to www.SexySpirits.com to register. 301 West 55th St. #4, $25 per person. 212-581-2640

November 1, 7-9 p.m.
SPARK OF SPIRIT (COLLEGE PARK, MD) - The Essence of Tantric Sexuality, go to www.sparkofspirit.com, to register. $25 per person. 9937 Rhode Island Ave., College Park, MD 20740. 877-297-7275

November 2, 7-9 p.m.
TEN THOUSAND JOYS (FREDERICK, MD) - Introduction to Tantra, go to www.tenthousandjoys.com, 54 East Patrick St., Frederick, MD 21701. 301-631-5697

November 3, 11-3
BREATHE BOOKS (BALTIMORE, MD) - The Chakras and Sexuality & Autoerotic Mysticism. Go to www.breathebooks.com, 810 W. 36th St. Baltimore MD 21211, 410-235-7323 $80 per person ($60 students).

November 4, 11-3
AASECT FORUM (BALTIMORE, MD) - Introduction to Tantra. Class is open to AASECT members. 3 CE credits. For more information email Chris at ckraft at jhmi.edu

November 4, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.
THE SUGAR SHOP (HAMPDEN BALTIMORE, MD) - Introduction to Tantra. www.sugartheshop.com, 927 W. 36th St, Hampden Baltimore, MD, 410-467-2632 $15 per person.

November 9, 8:45-10:45 p.m.
Dom Sub Friends (NYC) - 250 West 26th St. (7th & 8th Ave), Cost: $8 per person ($4 for DSF & affiliate members)http://domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/cldr/view.cgi?db=def&cat=&id=1172

November 10, 1:00 - 3:00
ONE TASTE (NYC) - TLO retreat. http://www.onetastesf.com/ot/ot_calendar/index.php?m=11&y=2007, 324 Lafayette St. #3A, New York, NY 10012, 415-606-7505

November 11, 1:00-3:00
RED HOT 2007 (PHILADELPHIA, PA) - Introduction to Tantra, $25 per person. Galleria 1903, 1903 Walnut St. We will also be available for private sessions with couples that evening. email info@TantraPM.com for more information. www.nsquaredproductions.com/redhot/

November 27th, 8:00-10:30 p.m.
ONE TASTE (NYC) - Tantra lecture series, http://www.onetastesf.com/ot/ot_calendar/index.php?m=11&y=2007, 324 Lafayette St. #3A, New York, NY 10012, 415-606-7505 This is part of a six lecture series beginning on Oct. 30th $225 per person.

Criticism

Posting material of any kind on the internet can be a very challenging experience; you open yourself up to all kinds of attacks, especially if you allow people to comment. We’ve posted clips of some of our appearances on youtube and have received some harsh criticism for what we say. Most of the negative comments are inane, ill-informed or dogmatic, and the posters frequently resort to name-calling. None of them reveal any awareness of the difficulty one faces when trying to explain something as vast, complex and contested as Tantra in a brief television appearance for an audience that presumably knows nothing about the subject.

We did have one interesting set of critical comments from an Indian poster on YouTube, and we’ve copied it here, along with our response:

“These people are indulging into money making and sensationalising Tantra and projecting it what it is not. Tantra is not Kaam Sootra. Tantra is visualisation and modelling the entire cosmos into which we as part of and menifestation of the cosmos and reflection of the larger model look into ourselves. If sex is symbolised as ceation, that is nearest to the truth, but sex seen merely as hedonistic activity, and practiced so in the name of “Nirvana” is just rediculious.

Meditation should be done on one’s own Ātmā as one with the Saviour-goddess (Tārinī). the Dhyāna of Devi, that the Man who meditates on the unattached, attributeless, and pure Ātmā which is Tripurā as one with, and not different from, his own Ātmā becomes himself Her (Tanmaya).

Sādhakas, possessed of the knowledge of Kula, then meditate on the Yoga-blissful (Yogānanda) form (Mūrti) of Śiva and Śakti present in the hearts of males and females and, calling to mind the meaning (Artha) of the Mantra of their Istadevatā, do Japa of it.

Depiction of females like this is clearly against the spirit of Tantra and merely low grade sensational gimmick.
Kindly practice kamasutra freely as Hindus did but do not call it Tamtric.

I have gone through it agin and agin..my comments below besically are reactions to clips shown at “kailash” site. Otherwise what ever has been satated is a sanctioned practice for a “Couple” (husband and wife). Turning one self into a “Veer” from “Pashu” for meditating upon Aadishakti(the orginating source) is one of the prescibed path.”

We replied:

Thanks to ******* for the thoughtful, generally well-informed comments. We recognize that his perspective is one that’s widely shared, but Tantra is neither monolithic nor moralistic. We teach as we do with the blessings of our Guru and out of a desire to serve and enrich the lives of others. Nothing we teach is derived from the Kama Sutra, with which we have very limited familiarity. As for making money, there are many much easier ways to make far more of it.

To expand on this initial reply, it’s important to bear in mind that Tantra is an initiatory tradition, and the texts are not entirely transparent; their real value lies in the way a teacher elucidates them. For example, it’s our understanding that “Veer” (hero) “Pashu” (beast) and “Divya” (spiritual person) don’t really refer to three categories of human but to qualities that exist in each of us. We were also baffled by the poster’s comments about the depiction of women, and this comment leads us to think his perspective is shaped by the puritanism that’s characteristic of modern, Hindu orthodoxy, which has little or nothing to do with Tantra.

Fantasy

Fantasy seems to be a loaded subject in the Tantric community and elsewhere. Recently, we talked about this with a friend and long-time practitioner, and she expressed the view that engaging in sexual fantasy is almost antithetical to the Tantric approach, since it takes you out of the moment and prevents you from being present. Others argue that fantasies are negative for a variety of reasons; some people in relationships feel that fantasizing about others borders on cheating; some people are ashamed or disturbed by their fantasies. While some who believe that we create our own reality suggest that fantasizing is dangerous because it borders on committing a thought crime.

We don’t share these opinions and feel that the conscious exploration and use of sexual fantasy can be a valuable way to expand your sexual repertoire. Fantasy is also a key component for building a high level of arousal for the purposes of the sex magic practice we describe in The Essence of Tantric Sexuality. Imagination is one of the most powerful resources we human beings have at our disposal, and what is fantasy (or any form of visualization) if not an act of imagining? If you find yourself becoming too limited by or dependent on a fantasy, it is a good idea to try something new. We don’t advocate fantasizing when you are with a partner (although we are not categorically opposed to it, especially in the context of mutual exploration), and retreating into the realm of fantasy to such an extent that you find it difficult to be present for your beloved is probably a sign of serious problems in your relationship.

The key is to be conscious and intentional when you fantasize. If you can view your fantasies as tools for discovering more about yourself and expanding your sexual capacities, you will not be using fantasy to escape; instead, you will be using it to enrich your life and enhance your ability to present.

We’d be interested in your thoughts on this subject, so please comment.

Tantric Sex in the Modern World

Although our background and training are more traditional than many Western Tantra teachers, we’ve taken some criticism on one website for our emphasis on the sexual aspects of Tantra. Some of these criticisms are dogmatic, ill-informed about our work, or based on a more general lack of knowledge about the Tantric tradition; others are more substantive and serious. We usually strive to make it clear that sex is only a small part of Tantra and that many practitioners are celibate. At the same time, sex is what attracted us in the first place, and it’s what most people — whether they’re journalists or members of the general public — are interested in talking about.

The role of sexuality in Tantra is a contested one. Today, most traditional pracititioners are very conservative and puritanical, and most scholars of the tradition take a very dim view of Neo-Tantric sexual practices, pointing out that they are quite far removed, in both form and content, from Tantric sexual ritual. This is true even when, like David Gordon White, they embrace the idea that sex is what sets Tantra apart from other South Asian religious traditions.

While we don’t expect to sway our critics, we strongly believe that the conscious exploration of one’s sexuality is one of the richest arenas for self-discovery and for practicing within the spirit, if not the letter, of the classical Tantric tradition. Despite the fact that sex is everywhere in our society, sexual knowledge, or better yet, sexual gnosis is taboo. The conscious violation of social taboos was an integral part of ancient Tantric practice, and we believe that deliberately delving into one’s sexuality, with the intent to discover and connect with its potentially transcendent power, while breaking free of society’s constraints, is an authentic way of practicing Tantra in the contemporary Western world. This is one of the central themes of our next book, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment.

We’ve asked the readers of our myspace blog to share their definitions of Tantra with us:

http://tinyurl.com/2nbjgj

Comments are welcome here too.

Mating in Captivity

We’ve both been reading Esther Perel’s excellent book Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. It is well worth your time, whether you are partnered or not. Perel treats individuals and couples; she has a wonderfully clear-headed and non-judgmental approach, and her views on contemporary relationships and what it takes to make them function well, erotically and emotionally, are very much in line with our own. We discuss some of these issues in Chapter Five of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality and will examine them in even more depth in Tantra for Erotic Empowerment.

Here’s a brief quote from Perel:

“For many of us, premeditated sex is suspicious. It threatens our belief that sex is subject only to the machinations of magic and chemistry. The idea that sex must be spontaneous keeps us one step removed from having to will sex, to own our desire and to express it with intent.”

The Tantric approach to sexuality is all about consciousness and intentionality. The result of bringing awareness to sex and treating it as something to be discovered, again and again and again, is magic, not the illusory magic of infatuation and chemical attraction, but something deeper and more powerful because it is willed.